Episode 17 – The How vs The Why – The Waxing Soul

Episode Transcript:

I’m Bridget Owens and you're listening to the Waxing Soul podcast where we dig deep into the nuance of magical and spiritual concepts

It's November 10, 2022, and on today's episode I welcome fantasy author Danielle Orsino for a discussion about the connection between storytelling, art, and magic.

Are you ready to grow your soul?

Welcome back to the podcast and I have a guest with me today that… I, you know, we talk a lot to magical practitioners and healers and all of that stuff, but I’m always excited to get a creative on the show. So we’re talking to author Danielle Orsino today, she’s a fantasy novelist whose lifelong vision is to create whimsical realms that her readers can escape to. Her compelling word weaving pays homage to a multitude of personal muses, from Chris Claremont and George Perez to Anne Rice, Jim Henson and Wonder Woman. The creative spark of storytelling has been with Danielle ever since she was a child, but martial arts in her nursing career took center stage into adulthood. Then on a day like any other, it was reignited during the most unexpected moments, while treating one of her patients. Seeing that they longed for a distraction during their arduous treatments, the floodgates of inspiration soon burst forth. So Danielle took it upon herself to tell them a story a fantastical narrative that would leave the confines of that IV rooms walls that land upon a page. Before she knew it What started as an imagined to pass turned into a book, followed by the entire series, The Birth of the Fae, published by four horsemen publication

Danielle:
Thank you so much for having me. I’m very excited to be here.

Bridget:
So like I said, I love talking to healers and practitioners and spiritual, you know, thinkers and all that. But very excited to talk to artists and writers and other creatives because art and spirituality is so tightly linked together. So tell us a little bit about about your writing and how that kind of helped lead you to your practice.

Danielle:
It’s funny, I started out I was practicing on and off a little bit. You know, kind of walking the path and walking next to it. You know how we do that sometimes, w’ere on it then we’re off then we’re on it again. And I was on it a little bit more when I was in nursing. And then as the story unfolded, I wound up delving back in because it is the origin of the fae but I took it from Celtic background that we all pretty much know and love and took it away to and brought it to Christianity in a sense, making them angels that were locked out of Heaven. It is not a Christian fiction book, by any means. But I just took the hierarchy of angels and decided to kind of play with paganism within it. Because once these angels cannot go home, they become what humans know as the polytheistic pantheon of gods and goddesses, your Egyptian gods and goddesses, Roman, Greek, pagan in general, that’s what these angels take on to gather worship because worship equals power in their world so they become the Fae. But fae means the Fellowship Aegis of Earth, defenders of Earth. And that gives way to the whole fairy story and mythos. So from there, walking the path again, you know, figuring out how are they going to use elemental magic? I didn’t want it to just be like, Oh, they’re angels, of course they could do that. Hey, whatever. I brought it more into the chakras and then brought in spell castings through that I use a lot of crystals, tremendous crystals. And I wanted to make sure that they were right when I started doing a lot of research. Jamie who owns a crystal shop in Topeka, Kansas Enchanting Earth Co, she helped me a lot with you know, “hey, this one’s right. You got this.” And we came together because of the book. And she was like, “Your crystals are right on.” So I kind of started walking the path again, while writing and delving into everything to make sure it was accurate.

Bridget:
That’s that’s really fascinating. So what is your practice like? It sounds like it’s sort of Celtic in roots.

Danielle:
It’s more elemental base now because that’s what where I wound up going as I was writing, you know, I had never really been into sacred geometry or anything like that. But I started developing and learning more about it. I did start to bring in crystals. You know, I still cast the circle. I still walk… I do that, the basics I kept. But I’ve started to branch out in the sense that it’s not as strict as Buckland’s. You know, Buckland’s was like the first book I bought. Everybody gets that. It’s like, I think when you say you’re gonna walk the path, I think somebody just goes, “And here’s the handbook, there you go, thank you so much.” You know, that’s just what happens. And I read that and I’m like, “okay, I’m gonna do this with, you know, the moon phases. I’m not gonna deviate…” But as I started doing more research I realized, okay, I can kind of loosen up a little bit and chill. And so now I do more candle work. I find that works for me, personally, I can kind of get a better read on my energy a little through candle work. So I tend to go more toward that route. I’ve had issues in the past of where things have broken, you know, unexpectedly when I’m doing something and I get now I can kind of read the signs. I can read the flame a little bit, things like that. It does vary. But at least I’m walking it is what I say. I’m not working on the side anymore. I actually got on the path. And it was like, Okay, this feels good. This is what I do now. You know, I’ve read some books like Faeriecraft by Alicen, Neil, Geddes, Ward, you know, things like that, that I’ve started to see, “Oh, there’s different there’s different ways to incorporate elementals and things of that nature.” That’s what I’ve done.

Bridget:
Nice. I do think we all sort of tend to start out with something that is more or less an attempt to like, oh, there must be rules here and there must be like, a system, and so I will follow… Like, this is what it means to be a witch, like, I’ll just do this stuff. And I kind of started out there, I didn’t you know, I wasn’t fully committed to like, all in, like, I’m just gonna get a book, follow all the stuff, but I was on the internet like researching all the ways to do to cast a circle and to do all this stuff. And for me it just quickly like, I realized that some things just didn’t feel… I felt like I was going through motions or like… I’ts on the page. I guess I’ll do it. I don’t know why. But okay,

Danielle:
I do the same thing. I set up the alter and all and, you know, and I had it all in the corner, and then I’d look at it and be like, “I have no idea how to use half this stuff!” Like that was my…. I’m looking at it and, like, you look like you just walked into a bad crystal shop or bad metaphysical shop, that’s what I looked like. And I would just stare at it go, “I’m supposed to use the little mini broom and clean energy or something I think, I don’t know!” And I got a bell, and I’m sitting here just like ringing the bell, waiting for something to happen. I don’t know what’s supposed to happen at this point. And I’m just looking around going, “Okay, we’re just gonna pare this all down to what feels good and what I need.” I like to cast a circle. Part of that I think it’s more tradition than do I really need this. I don’t know.

Bridget:
I like the ceremonial parts that that resonate with us. Like I do, instead of casting a circle, a lot of times when I’m doing workings I do a ritual hand washing. Not that I necessarily think that I’ve like got bad energy on my hands, but it’s like I’m sort of setting aside that time and space. Like, it’s like a surgeon scrubbing up to into surgery. Like once I’ve done this, I’m in.

Danielle:
Yes, yes. That’s that’s almost how I feel about casting. It’s just to say, I’m not going to be disturbed. It’s more that just setting my time, like this is what I’m going to do now. Don’t bother me. It’s more of a mental thing than like, oh, okay, this is what I’m… When I first started doing it, don’t get me wrong, there were notes and post it notes. You know, do this, and you’ve gotta walk this way. Okay. And I was like, alright, it’s followed. I mean, I was just hardcore, like, “if we’re gonna do it, man, we’re gonna do it! You almost get to the point where you’re forcing it because you’re like, “I’m gonna be so good at this!” And then you’re like, “What am I doing?” You know, by the end of it, I was, like I said, I had all these accoutrements of everything, and I’m going, “I don’t even know what that thing does. No idea what that is.” And I was just staring at it going, “Yeah, Danielle, you’re a witch, alright.” You know, it was just one of those moments of, “You might as well go get a hat and… just get a black cat. That’s about as close as you are at this moment to what the practice really is. Just go be stereotypical now, why don’t you?”

Bridget:
I kind of want to talk a little bit, too, you know, the weaving together of your, your creative paths and your spiritual path. How do they influence each other?

Danielle:
It’s kind of funny the way they the way that my practice and my creativity meld and come together. They did it kind of at the same time. In the book, what I wound up doing which was, you know, kind of funny in a way was, I wound up putting a lot of nods to what I had done wrong in it. So, you know, I have Aurora, Queen Aurora, casting a huge spell to create a veil, you know, a dimensional portal and this protective…. So I was very clear on, Okay, she’s gonna have this accoutrement that… You know, I was very clear on that. And you know, how she kind of researches it was what I was like, so I put that part in. And then as I went along, I have a scene, I think it’s in book four, Kingdom Come, where another Fae comes, comes up against these practitioners that are not really practitioners, who are trying to get rid of a plague in their village. And they cast the circle and they walk in counterclockwise, and they’re doing everything wrong, like probably every beginner has done at one point or another. And I put all those mistakes in because I was like, I know how you guys kind of feel right now. And they throw like a goat head in the middle of it and go, “Lucifer!” And kind of were like, “Ta da!” And she’s watching them going, “That’s not Lucifer, like, wait a minute, what are you guys doing?” They’re like, “We now shall draw a pentagram!” you know, and she’s like, “No, that’s… not pentagram, pentacle.” And she’s kind of like, yelling at them, like as it’s happening, and she’s watching these humans mess it up. They’re trying to call forth a demon, a Phoenix of the seventh dimension to like, help them you know, with all this. And so she steps out just to mess with them. Like okay, we’re gonna do this now, boys, like we’re gonna have a good time. And as she’s talking to them, she’s like, “this is where you would have found it. You need to draw the sigil for this,” and she explains the whole thing. And a lot of that was where it met like, I’m gonna put my mistakes in there. Because anybody who’s reading this will go, “Yep, yeah, I know that feeling. Yeah, we got that.” Whenever they do cast spells in the veil, we always give acknowledgement to the four corners, you know, just little things like that I’ve done. And so they kind of came together just through writing and I had more of an appreciation,. And then more covens reached out to me after reading book one I was like, “You know what, you’re pretty on with some of this stuff.” And I was like, “oh, okay, cool. Like, I’m not an impostor. That’s awesome. I’m doing some of this right! Yay me!” You know, it was a little bit of that kind of thing. And then it just, they just kind of started walking again. It was a side by side and then finally we were like we’re both on the path, yay! With my creativity and spirituality, we’ve met and that’s why I used the septagram as the fae star. You know, most people are like, “oh, it’s the fae star.” And I’m like, “but it’s what you interpret of the fae star.” And so I did little nods to that. Like I said, I use sacred geometry in the math itself, which most practitioners have picked up on and written me. And they’re just like, “you know, I noticed the way the, the septagram is, it looks like this. It’s you know, it’s in the middle of this,” and I’m like, “You’re not wrong.” Like they were like, “And the alchemical elements are in there.” And I’m like, “yeah, the sigils are in there.” Like, “I thought I was right! Haha,” you know. And I’m like, “Oh, you got it,” like it’s all there. So they just kind of fed each other.

Bridget:
There’s something really, you touched on how you know we all sort of have that impostor syndrome kind of feeling, especially if we… If the beginning of our past was solitary. And the first time I went to a group ritual, and I didn’t, I didn’t know what going on and had to be sort of guided through, and it was a mess of a ritual anyway. But I learned so much from watching that and taking away like, well, “I can list now 12 things that went wrong that day, that all of the mistakes that were made.” And that you get that through interacting with other people and having this like, some sort of community that I think it’s hard to, it’s hard for solitary practitioners to find. So other than people reaching out, sort of you connecting with people through through your writing, like do you have a any sort of community? Not that you necessarily practice with, but like other practitioners that you’re connected with?

Danielle:
I have I’ve heard from… Modern Druid is a store in Nyack, a metaphysical Wiccan store. They were one of the big ones to contact me, besides Jamie, you know, Enchanting Earth and she sells crystals and she’s phenomenal at it. But when Modern Druid contacted me, Morgana, they were like, “hey, you know, like, let’s talk a little bit.” So when I have questions, I can reach out to her. She’s very, very knowledgeable. That was one. I’ve been on a few pagan podcasts, Wiccan podcasts, you know, that have kind of been like, “Hey, if you ever have questions you want to talk, like, we’re totally here. You know, that’s cool.” I think the biggest was as book one… It was probably released a couple of months, give or take… An Instagrammer reached out to me and said, “You know, I was reading it, and I realized you’re pretty much on with this stuff.” And she was from the UK. And we wound up becoming friends. It was one of these things where I think what had happened was she actually saw the post about the septagram. That’s how it started. And she said, “I like your interpretation of this.” And I… She noticed the sacred geometry. And then she informed me she had breast cancer. So I sent her a book. Just so she had something to read. And we wound up becoming friends. And she was a tarot card reader and all this other stuff. And later on, we became so close, I put her in a book. One of her last requests while she was in hospice was to become a fae. And I said, “Okay.” And she was like, “This is my last request.” So I said, okay, and I’m like, and I came up with two different, you know, factions, I said, “I could do this, or I could just make you a blend of both.” And she said, “Let’s kind of design the character,” and she’s now part of the fae lineage. Her character’s been mentioned a little bit but in the next upcoming books, it makes a bigger debut. And I think that was the first time I realized there was such a heavy community was here is this person that happened to just see the fae star and my interpretation of it and went, Oh, and we started this conversation. You know, that grew into something so much more. I think that’s when I first felt like a writer and first felt like part of this Wiccan community.

Bridget:
And do you feel like stuff like that is sort of working magic through your words?

Danielle:
You know what, I don’t know if I’ve ever thought of it. That’s an excellent point. I don’t know if I’ve ever given it as much thought because at the end of the day, spell casting is spelling. So you know, it’s kind of funny when you you know, I was so touched by this person that she’s almost in every dedication and acknowledgement in the books, because it was just one of those people that just reached out and it was like, we were just simpatico from the moment we started talking. And so I think, could it be a manifestation thing? Definitely. But I think sometimes the universe just sees the energies and says, You know what, you might need this. Here you go, and just kind of scooch along the path just a little bit more. Because you know, there are some trolls. Sometimes, you need like that little shield, and I feel like that’s what this has been.

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Now back to the episode!

My biggest agenda with all the stuff that I do, so the podcasts, my writing, and everything, is to kind of create a movement towards spiritual authenticity, where people focus less on sort of finding the right spiritual belief system to join up to, and focus more on finding and creating practices that nurture them and fit their unique, unique way of being and existing in the world. So how, you know, have you found it difficult to do that for yourself?

Danielle:
Yes, yes. It’s been hard. I was raised very Catholic, strict Catholic. Strict, you know, you go to CCD on Saturdays like you don’t deviate. And to delve into this? And I was always I always wanted to get into the practice. When I was teenager, I thought, but my dad wasn’t gonna go for this, like, how do you walk up to dad and go, “By the way, I know we go to church every Sunday and you’re Mr. Catholic man. I’m gonna head down the witchcraft path. I’ll be over here.” You know, that’s just not gonna go well, and not that he’s close minded, it was just something that I was more scared of, you know? And I was researching a lot of religions to find my spirituality because I was like, This doesn’t feel right, but this one does. Which got me in a lot of trouble because you can’t question in those places. Like that crap. No, good. That’s a big ol no bueno as I learned, I got kicked out of a lot. So I was having a hard time and when I found this and really got back into practice, I was also going through a rough time at one point, you know, this was kind of my savior in a way to ground me again. But I still have a hard time. You know, just finding that time for me because it does take time, just like any practice does, it does. What I’ve tried to do through my writing, though, is also show some of the biases we still have toward it. You know, I still find I remember wearing a bracelet, charm bracelet, it was one I had gotten off whatever Wiccan supply, you know, website. And it had, you know, it had an athame, it had the tree of life, whatever. And I was nursing at the time and I was going to do somebody’s IV and the bracelet slid down and they went, “Oh, that’s pretty charm bracelet.” And I was in one of my emboldened spiritual times. You know how we all get we’re like, “oh, I’m gonna tell him I’m a witch out here!” And I was in that mood that day, and bad move on my part. But I just looked and I looked at the woman and went, “Oh, it’s the path I follow. It’s Wicca.” You would have thought that I grew horns, a tail, and my head spun around 360 right then and there. She pulled her arm away. “You can’t touch me.” And I was like, “what?” It was just one of those, “Huh? Excuse me? What’s the big deal?” Called the doctor over, the doctor’s staring at me like, “What the heck did you do now?” I said, “I’m wearing a charm bracelet. That’s it.” They have a whole discussion. The doctor calls me over she goes, “Look, I don’t care what you are. You can’t tell sick patients you’re a witch. Do you see where this is a bad thing?” And I was like, it was that moment of my authentic self wanting to hide behind and I’m like, “Why? She asked me what the bracelet was, I said it” This is still a bias to this day that exists in society. And I was so surprised. Like, literally that woman’s attitude change toward me for the rest of time that I’ve employed here. I mean, I had to deal with gossip, crazy things that had nothing to do with being you know, with nothing to do with that, just she was now venomous. And that was it. And so, in my books, I do write a little bit about that, you know about organized religion versus paganism. And, you know, being grounded versus organized telling you you have to be here on Sundays and you have to do this and you have to do that. That’s how I’ve wound up on two blasphemy lists, of course, and people petitioning the Vatican to pull the book but you know, it happens. That’s when I feel like now I’m a real witch. Yeah, I officially am one, you know, I don’t think you can go until you’ve been ostracized yet. And you know, had other religions come after you. Now I’m one. So I feel like, once again, give me the hat and we’re all good to go. So, yeah, I’ve found it hard. And I’m still trying to walk that authentic self.

Bridget:
And you said you’re in New York, so probably, I don’t want to make assumptions, less of that there. But…

Danielle:
Oh, no, I moved down to Charlotte. So I went from New York to Charlotte, so yes, I’m getting… Believe me, now. I get it. Did not understand it in New York. There was, you know, I’d have a pocket here and there. Since moving to Charlotte, all bets are off. I’ve had people outside my house taking pictures. I’ve had religious groups sending me hate. It has amplified.

Bridget:
Yeah, yeah, I live in Missouri. And we… And things have gotten like it has changed dramatically over the 15 years that I’ve been sort of involved in, in the pagan community here. Because when I started, I started going to a meet up and I mean, it was people wouldn’t go because we met in a coffee shop in public. They didn’t want to be seen, you know, with a group of witches and everybody use like fake names and had to kind of know something who knows somebody to find out if there was coven around or whatever like everything was very hush hush. And it’s it’s much better now things are very much in the open, Like this weekend we’re having Pagan Pride Day and like all of that. But there’s still… Recently… I used to read tarot cards at a local metaphysical shop and it was like right in downtown. And it did really well. And for a while it was like riding this kind of wave of like, wow, we’re existing out in the open, we’ve got our shop and like people are not being weird about it. And then the local like street preacher figured out where we were and would like stand outside the door with his megaphone every weekend. And yeah, it gets weird.

Danielle:
Been there got a t shirt on that one. I totally understand. It’s funny because I’m still under fire for the first book and I laugh and I joke with the religious nuts and… I’m sorry, I’m gonna call it nuts right now. Because once they start threatening violence to the category, you know… Threatening me with eternal damnation? Go have fun. You don’t have that authority. I’m cool with that. Once you start sending me pictures of guns with a date on it? Yeah, we move to the nut category. They’re still on book one and I keep joking. I’m like, wait till you guys get to book four! You’re still on book one. I barely did anything in book one. You get to book four, I literally have a chapter called The Jesus Factor. You got… you guys, you got to catch up here. We’re well past that! Yeah, they get…. it’s weird because… And the funny thing is even the metaphysical shops, I’ve gone to some and… I went to one crystal shop. And it was packed and it was beautiful and they’re known for it. And I asked cuz I’m looking around and I’m like, Okay, I see all the books and you know, they had like, they even had a kids section. I was like, wow, you’re like really progressive. It was great. Went over and said, “Do you have any fiction books?” And they went, “Yeah, in the kids section,” and I said, “Okay, do you have any fairy crap.” And they looked at me, and they were like, “that’s where we draw the line.” And I looked at them and I went, “I’m sorry, what?” Like, I had to stop and I went, “What?” And she said, “Fairy craft.” I was like, “Yeah, you know…” And I named Alicen, you know, you know, all them, I’m going through it. I’m like, okay, maybe the Encyclopedia of Fairy… You know, and they looked at me and they were like, “This is a real shop.” And I just looked around and went, “The sparkly unicorn?” It was like that. I was like, “you actually have something called unicorn magic.” I’m like, “But at fairies we’re drawing the line?” I was like, let me just get you straight. And she was like, “No.” I mean, just dead serious to me. And I was like, “you understand we’re a small community. There’s not much of us. This is not time for us to start drawing these lines in the sand,” and I was like, “I wrote a fiction book…” and I’m trying to explain who I am. And she’s like, “Yeah, no.” And I was like, “Because it’s about fae? Once again, I just want to make sure I understand where the line is here ladies, like… Fae. Unicorns? Cool. That’s okay, that exists. Fae bad.” And she was just like, “We don’t do fairy magic.” And I was like, Okay, I just took my stuff. I walked out and I was like, that’s apparently the line. Fae. Who would have known?

Bridget:
Yeah, there’s a I’ve never had I’ve never seen anybody, like draw a line there. I’ve heard a lot of people you know, talk about like, how dangerous it is for people to get into fairy magic and… but you know, everybody’s got their thing.

Danielle:
I know I’m like next time I’ll bring like, you know, unicorn gummies or something to try to grease the wheels a bit. But I was like, okay, but it was more because I thought okay, is something dangerous? You know, are they more like hey, don’t do the unsealing, the sealing… But it was more like, fairies like Tinkerbell. She thought I was… And I’m like, you know, it was one of those where the voice inside my head the Harley Quinn voice was going, “Either we get the hyenas or we walk out, Danielle, pick one.” Like, we’re gonna walk out on this one. This is a losing battle, we’re just gonna walk it out. And you know, you just kind of laugh, but I’ve seen it from both sides. I just find it funny from the religious groups that are yelling about blasphemy and whatnot. I’m like, but doesn’t this goes against the whole peace thing? Just was just wondering on that. I was like, I don’t think the man in the clouds is golf clapping you like, way to go get that redheaded author. Seems to go against that. I said, what are we really saying in Wicca? I don’t know. You know, like be good. Take care of things. Put out what you get, you know, basic and like like be a good human being. Yeah,

Bridget:
I think one of the biggest challenges Well, I guess just in general in the spiritual community, but especially with with the pagan community is because we are so sort of not organized as in not organized religion. I hesitate to use the word religion. A loosely associated band of self organized beliefs systems, that we we have a hard time knowing how to navigate and form a larger community. We just kind of lack any model for that, that doesn’t look like organized religion. But we don’t want to do organized religion because so many of us have been sort of victimized by that. And still have bad association from from all of that kind of thing. And we’re not united under a belief system. So it doesn’t work. But that’s the closest thing we have. And so it’s and I don’t have an answer for that. I’m hoping somebody at some point.

Danielle:
I hope someday we can. I kind of look at them a lot… Like I’m from the martial art community. It seems to be the same. You have a bunch of martial arts running around going, “I’m the best, I’m great.” But when you tell them, “Can you guys all just get together and can we unionize in some way or regulate so we don’t have a bunch of black belts schools or whatever going on?” None of them can agree to do it. Because they’re all like, “Yeah, but, mine is this and mine is that….” It’s almost like the same thing because I looked at the Wiccan community, the pagan community, and I’m like, I get we all practice differently. But even just this… There should be… There’s this, like, unspoken code of conduct. And I’m like, can we just all get together? But at the same point, imagine what society looking in, the optics of it would be if a bunch of pagans were like, “We’re getting together and we’re gonna do this!” I think they would lose their mind. So I’m not sure when we’re ready. I kind of joke it’s the same time when the when the government releases all the UFO stuff. That that’s when the pagans can go, “Finally! It’s our turn! Yes!” You know? ‘Cause the archetypes of the other religions will have to, “Oh, maybe we don’t know at all.” You know, to have that moment. We can go, “Told you! Haha!” That’s all I can see.

Bridget:
Yeah, that’s an interesting… that’s an interesting scenario to think through.

Danielle:
That’s how I’ve looked at it. Every time more UFO stuff comes out. And they’re like, “what would the religions say?” I’m like, pagans will just sit back and like, “yeah.” That’s it. They’re not gonna sit there and go, “Holy….” They’re just gonna debate is it interdimensional, is it time travel. You know, it’s gonna be more of that debate between them like, “Hm, what do you think?”

Bridget:
Yeah, I spend an inordinate amount of time, actually, with my occult community talking about sort of the the nature of like, what are extraterrestrials? What are deities? Like, where do the fae come from? Like, are they the same thing? Are they? Yeah, all of that. Yeah.

Danielle:
Yep. And that’s where I think we kind of find ourselves sometimes, at those crossroads of what… You know, that philosophical conundrum. But I just laugh because I really do think the pagans would just take it all in stride and look at everybody else to kind of go, “Kind of told you something like this was going on, you know,” and go about our business.

Bridget:
So what’s the most significant way that your practice kind of just helps and supports you as, as an individual? Like you know, how did you put together a practice that is really focused on the things that you need in ife?

Danielle:
When I was… I was going through just a very rough emotional time. Like, really bad. Just probably one of the most difficult times in my life. And I needed something, just something to hold on to because I could feel myself slipping away. And less things were of interest. I was like, this is gonna go south bad. And so I… The practice was kind of calling back and I decided if I could take control of the chaos in some way, just something. And sometimes it was just very simple stuff, clearing the energy, bringing in positivity, things like that and… But doing an actual spell or doing candle magic and setting a circle, all those kinds of things helped to ground me to that present moment and not let my mind go to that dark place. Or think a week ahead, or whatever it was. I was just trying to get by minute by minute. That’s all my brain could even handle. Because if I thought more than that, the pills were right over there. It was… That’s how bad I was. It was like, this is really not going well. And I don’t know. So I started… Yoga helped. Because yoga got my breathing and I found that I could raise energy that way. But then I had to do something with it. Then it was here and I was like, okay, and I had all this anxiety and tension, I didn’t know what to do with it. So focusing it with candle work and things like that. That really helped because it did give me some semblance of taking back control in some capacity. And as long as I kept you know, I kind of… The rule of three, I know there’s a lot of debate about is it really there, you know, where did it really come from, but I just kept thinking, “whatever I put out I get back, so I’m gonna stay positive and not do anything dumb,” because dumb thoughts were there. It did help ground me to the present. And not let my mind wander and that was probably the biggest thing and like I said, give me some sense of control. Whether things turned out exactly as I wanted or… It didn’t matter. It just I felt like at that point I was taking control and doing something about it and not just being a victim of, you know, circumstances. And that was the best thing.

Bridget:
Yeah, I think, for me, one of the most powerful things about you know, cultivating a magical practice is that it is literally empowerment. Because it’s an act of going, “this is the power that’s in me and I’m going to hold it in my hand and decide what I do with that.” And it forces you to be in touch with your like momentary reality. And not kind of live in this distracted, you know, disconnected state. You have to be present with with what you’re doing.

Danielle:
You have no choice. And I noticed that because I was going in so many different directions, my head was, this was… That was the only thing that, like you said, made me feel like… and empowerment’s a great word. I felt empowered again, I felt like I’m doing this on my own. You know, it’s me now. Whatever happens from this point on okay, but at least I’m doing something and that was enough to help get me over the hump. And that’s, that’s what I needed. And even now, I still… I have two puppies that I love and adore, are my whole world. And whenever they’ve had surgeries, the first thing I do is pull out a candle, anoint it, I’ve got my pet blessings oil and all that. And it calms me because, you know, you’re having that moment of anxiety, you don’t want to put that energy out there of something going wrong. So I do little things like that, and I still come back to it. Because I am, I’m an anxious person, it’s just what it is. And so I need to put the energy somewhere. So if I give it to the flame, I think of it burning off. It’s like okay, these little moments help to where you can… Alright you can’t…. Maybe some people walk into church, they pray for a second and they’re like, anxiety gone. That’s awesome. It doesn’t work for me. I have to actually do something and have a physical representation. And the path allows that. So, why not go that route?

Bridget:
Yeah. So what what advice would you have for people you know, who are starting to feel pulled towards a particular path or back to a path that they’ve been on? Like, you know, being in that space where you were kind of where you were walking beside the path and not totally on it?

Danielle:
Trust yourself. That’s the biggest thing. I remember when I was kind of walking beside it. I tried to explain it to a friend who was like, “Oh, you’re not a witch. You’re more of a fairy.” You know, it was like giving me like her interpretation of all of this. And of energy… And that works for her. Didn’t work for me. But don’t get everybody’s opinion. This is too personal. You can’t. I get that you might have a friend that’s like really knowledgeable on this stuff. Awesome. But at first you just have to get quiet with yourself to figure out what door is gonna open. And then it will. It will reveal itself. Might take a little time. But it will. You just have to listen. And I think that’s probably been one of the biggest things I did not do. You know, they say the universe throws a pebble, if you don’t listen it throws a rock, then the brick comes, and then if you really don’t listen, the boulder’s coming through the door. Yeah, that might be me a couple times. But you have to just listen to yourself and what feels right versus pulling out Buckland’s and being like, “I’m gonna do it just like this,” you know, going that route. I think you just have to stay and trust yourself that that is the path and you got to just jump on. You can’t be on a scooter, you know, pushing it to the side at some point. You got to go or get off completely and just say, you know, that’s not for me. And that’s cool. Totally cool. It’s not for everybody. But I think when you waver and you’re like I’m in, I’m out, I’m in, I’m out, eventually the energy blocks. Like why… You can’t just do… Almost like a hit it and quit it thing. Eventually they’re gonna be like, no more, you’re not getting any. Same thing.

Bridget:
Yeah, and our authenticity is such a source of power. Like, you know, I feel like my magic is… I think we all draw from the parts of ourselves that are are unique and individual and authentic. And if we are trying to do things the way other people do them because like, we see them being good at it or it works for them or whatever, it’s bringing them things that they want and we want those things, so I’ll just do this all do what this person does. We have no actual connection to it. It’s not actually drawing fully from who we are anyway. And until we sort of recognize that we all have different needs and we’re all looking for different things, then we’re going to be frustrated with our practices because it’s not going to bring us the things that we want.

Danielle:
I completely agree. I think it’s about self discovery. That’s what the path is really about. It’s about self discovery. So you have to give yourself time to discover

If you love The Waxing Soul, connect with me online! 
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Connect with Danielle:

http://www.birthofthefae.com

http://www.instagram.com/birthofthefae_novel

Thank you so much for listening.
New episodes of the Waxing Soul drop every Thursday.
All materials and resources except the music are copyright Bridget Owens.
Many thanks to my readers, listeners, friends, mentors, inspirations, and my framily for riding with me into season two.
Until next week, blessed be and be good to yourself.